feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
