C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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