i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
