The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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