The maid of honor just puked.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
