Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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