Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
