I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
