Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
