I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
