I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
