Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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