let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
