dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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