He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
