it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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