what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
