my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
