We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I see more hoeing in ur future
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