Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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