can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
