Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
