Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
