I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
