He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
