Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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