i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
