Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
