he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
