i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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