All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
