i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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