I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
