every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Are my feet made of real feet?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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