Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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