So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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