the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
