I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize