Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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