quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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