It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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