do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
