I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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