Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
