How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
