Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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