perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Who died my cat blue again?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
