Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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