Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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