oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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