he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
