I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
