You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
