Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
