I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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