im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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